DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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