Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
