after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
