if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
