i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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