I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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