i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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