I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I will pee on everything he values.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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