she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
