I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
