If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
This is classic penis vs brain.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
