I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You can't just leave with hair like that
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
