so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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