you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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