im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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