i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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