69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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