i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
