Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
