There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She bit a glass in half.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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