I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
