Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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