So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So many bounce houses so little time
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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