is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
