Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
