i was rollin on her like bob the builder
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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