I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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