He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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