She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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