Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
