I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
