ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
