oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
