The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
