bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
