I'm laying in your front yard are you home
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I party with great urgency now.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
