Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
