This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
