I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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