I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
sarcasm needs its own font
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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