I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
