and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
