I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
How external is "for external use only"?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
