so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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