the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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