We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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