she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
