who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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