Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so let's talk penis.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
