Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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