I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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