wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
