I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
